"Bringing Back Honor"
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Ten Commandment Series
EXodus 20:12, 15; Ephesians 6:1-4

Introduction: Today is Father’s Day. And every year I face this great challenge. I want to honor all of those Father’s, (and grandfather’s) who are doing a great job. And yet, on the other side of the coin, the reality in our world is that there are many father’s who are absent and not doing a great job. In the United States, the percentage of children with single parents rose from 23% in 1980 to 31% in 2002. In the United States, more than 20 million kids live with a single parent! A large majority of these single parents are mothers.

I want you to think for a moment about a sponge. A sponge is designed to soak up whatever is around it. If a sponge is full, how can you know what is in it? BY SQUEEZING IT. Whatever is in the sponge will come out. In fact, if a sponge is full, all you have to do is push gently on it, and whatever fills the pockets of the sponge will come out.

We are all like sponges. We soak up what is around us. Whatever is in us will come out in the ways we talk and act. This morning, as we continue our series in the 10 Commandments, we look at commands 5 and 8: “Honor Your Father and Your Mother,” and “Do Not Steal.” These commands call us to exhibit behavior that honor others; honoring our parents, and honoring our neighbors. They are a reminder that God calls us to a life of honor.

I. Honoring Parents- (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 3:14-15, 6:1-4;

Matthew 19:19-20)

So, let’s start with commandment #5, “Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

a. Honor- For the family structure to have integrity, there must be

honor. There must be respect for the father and the mother. As Ephesians 3:14-15 says, “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name.” The family structure has been ordained by God, and the fifth commandment tells us that honor is a part of that structure. When that honor is not shown, there must be discipline.

In a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, Calvin’s mom shouts out to him: “Calvin, who made this mess out here?” Calvin responds: “It wasn’t me mom! It was..uh..it was..a horrible little venusian who materialized in the kitchen! He took out some diabolical high-frequency device, pointed it at various objects, and…”

In the last frame we see Calvin in trouble, sitting on his bed, and saying: “Mothers are the necessity of invention.”

Kids will get themselves into trouble, and even try to keep themselves from being disciplined. But discipline is important to keep honor in tact. It is not a discipline that harms the child in any way, but one that builds their character and helps them to learn honor and respect. Often times it is the father who brings this idea of discipline to their children. I know that in times when the kids aren’t listening to Tami, all she has to say is “Do you want me to tell your father?” The kids will tend to shape up and listen at this statement. Father’s can help to bring firmness when it comes to discipline. But a firmness that is shown in love.

In those families where there isn’t a father, the challenge for mothers’ is to bring the gentle side of love, with the firm side of love. This doesn’t always come naturally to mothers’, but is important in children’s lives as they learn to show honor.

b. Trust and obey- But along with the aspect of honor, there is a dual

call to obedience and trust. Both parent and child need to come to a place where there is mutual trust. The parent trusts the child to learn from the parent, and begin to make good and right decisions. The child trusts that the parent is seeking to do what is best and has some knowledge and experience to pass on.

Even our firmness, and our ability to discipline, helps to build trust. In our disciplining, we are showing the importance of obedience, listening, and following the rules. As our children learn this, they trust us, because they see that we are teaching them important lessons of life.

But overall, there is trust in God. Both parent and child must put their trust in God. As we believe that God has wisdom, we trust that the parent-child structure God has established, when working right, benefits all. So, children benefit from being obedient to this command, and parent’s benefit by helping their children be obedient to this command.

In trusting in this structure, there will be times when the parents need to ask: “Am I being a good example to follow? Am I obedient to God by being obedient to the commands? Am I a good example in giving honor to my parents?” The example we set will go a long way in motivating our children and grandchildren to be obedient.

A note of caution is given to us by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:4- “And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline of the Lord.” The call for obedience should not be out of authoritativeness, but out of love. It is what is best for the child, the parents, and the family. And giving in to the children’s desires or determination is not helpful.

There is a story of a boy who was tempted by his friends to pick some

cherries from a tree his father had forbidden him to touch. ‘You don’t

need to be afraid,’ the boys said, ‘because even if your father should find

out, he is too kind to hurt you.’ The boy thought for a moment and then

answered: ‘I should not touch them for that very reason; for although he

wouldn’t hurt me, my disobedience would hurt him.’(“Tempted to Disobey,”

Parents and Teenagers, by Jay Kesler, p, 52)

We see in this story the beginning of a child understanding why it is important to be obedient and to show honor by our actions. This is true of our lives as well. We should be obedient to our heavenly Father, because to not, would hurt Him.

c. The promise- At the end of this command, both in Exodus 20:12,

and in Ephesians 6:3, we see that there is a promise attached. The promise says this: “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” In any generation, it can be seen that the strength of the family life, the marks of the stability of a community or nation, is seen in the obedience of children to their parents. If you want the family to prosper for a long time, if you want an individual child to prosper in their life, if you want a nation to prosper long in its existence, then there needs to be honoring of parents.

And likewise, we as parents must honor our own parents, so that children will see this example. In our doing this, our children will honor their grandparents as well. In this, the family structure will be strong, and parents, grandparents, and children will feel good about their situation and future.

Unfortunately, we see this breakdown in the family structure all too often now. As kids get older, they get more defiant. Without this honor of child to parent, we see a breakdown in other areas as well. I am surprised at the lack of honor that kids and youth show to teachers, coaches, and other adults.

EX. The other day I was walking out to my car from the church office, when all of a sudden a youth came skateboarding around the corner of the bushes, almost hitting me. And what happened next surprised me, although it shouldn’t have. The youth completely ignored the fact that he almost ran me over, and continued to skate over to the water fountain without saying a word! I had a few words for him.

The command “Honor your father and your mother…” is at the heart of honoring and respecting so many other things in life. Now let me remark that teaching your children and grandchildren to honor you doesn’t just come from discipline. It comes from acts of kindness as well. STORY: Benjamin West tells of how he became a painter. It was a day when his mother left him in charge of his little sister Sally. In his mother’s absence he discovered some bottles of colored ink and he began to paint his sister’s portrait. When his mother came home the first thing she noticed was the mess that had been made. But saying nothing, she then saw the portrait and replied: “Why it’s Sally.” She then bent down and kissed him. Benjamin West says of this experience: “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.” (Barclay, Commentary on Ephesians, p. 178)

II. Honor Possessions- (Exodus 20:15; Malachi 3:8, 10; Matt. 19:16-22)

As we learn this basic concept of honor, it then helps us to honor

and respect others. In particular, we are told in the eighth commandment: “You shall not steal.”

a. Robbing others- This command calls us first of all to be concerned

with the possessions of others. It calls us to respect the right of others to own things and to not take from them. When someone is tempted to take something from another, or actually takes something from another, they are not honoring their right to private property. They are saying to themselves and God: “I don’t believe that person has the right to own what they have, and therefore I am going to take it from them and make it mine!”

In our world, there is a need for boundaries, and one of the boundaries God has established is that of personal property and ownership. This command tells us that we are to respect and honor what others have. When people choose to steal, what they are saying is that they don’t agree that the law needs to apply to them. Maybe they don’t agree with the idea of laws themselves. It is true that over the years there have been some laws that seem humorous. Here are a few:

(“Laughable Laws,” Amusing Grace, pp. 437-438, #’s 35-41)

“In Natome, Kansas, it is illegal to practice knife throwing at someone wearing a striped suit.”

“In the Pine Island District of Minnesota, a man must tip his hat when passing a cow.”

“In Alabama, it is an infringement of the law to wear a false mustache in church if it makes people laugh.” “It is illegal in Massachusetts to eat peanuts in church.”

“Michigan law prohibits hitching a crocodile to a fire hydrant.”

When there is a law we don’t like or disagree with, we have ways to seek to change them. But when it comes to the 10 commandments, it is God’s law to us. There are good reasons why God has established these commands. To “not steal” shows basic respect for people, property, and possessions.

And yet, we might want to ask: “Why do people steal?” Stealing usually comes from not having. When someone doesn’t have something they feel they need, they think about stealing. There are times when people don’t have the basics, and so they steal to get the money they need to eat and live. But more often than not, the stealing comes from an attitude of materialism. We live in a world that wants things; Cars, televisions, DVD players, and so on. This materialism leads to jealousy and feelings of wanting what you don’t have. If we were to understand the eighth commandment, it should lead us to an attitude of contentment; to be happy with what we have.

b. Robbing God- This leads us to a second understanding of the

eighth commandment, and that is robbing from God. The Bible tells us that we can steal from God. Listen to Malachi 3:8, 10- “Will anyone rob God? Yet you are robbing me! But you say, ‘How are we robbing you?’ In your tithes and offerings! Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in my house, and thus put me to the test…see if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you an overflowing of blessing.” When we tithe, we give 10% of our money, our time, and our talents back to God as a response to his abundant blessings in our lives. But this giving also is given to help those who are in need. In our giving, we make sure the church has the resources to help the needs that exist around us. As a church, we are called to help others.

In the gospel of Matthew, chapter 19, Jesus encounters a young rich man who is battling the dilemma of what it means to do right. So this young rich man asks Jesus this question in verse 16: “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” Jesus responds back by telling him to keep the commandments.

The young rich ruler answers back in verse 18-22: “¹⁸"Which ones?" the man inquired. Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, ¹⁹honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'" ²⁰"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" ²¹Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." ²²When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

The young man claimed to have kept the law. In the legal sense he might have, but in the spiritual sense he had not, because his attitude was all wrong. In the last analysis it is obvious to see that his possessions meant more to him than giving to those in need. In this sense he was stealing from God by not sharing out of his abundance.

STORY: Actor Chuck Norris, of Walker: Texas Ranger fame, tells this story: He has a foundation called “Kick Drugs Out of America,” and this foundation is set-up to work with high-risk, inner-city children. The program teaches kids martial arts to help raise their self-esteem, and to instill discipline and respect for themselves and others. One day one of his instructors saw that one of the boys forgot his belt. “Where is your purple belt?” she asked the boy. The boy simply said: “I don’t have it.” The teacher asked the boy again a little more firmly: “Where is it?” This time he said: “My baby sister died and I put it in her coffin to take to heaven with her.”

The teacher later remarked to Chuck Norris that that purple belt was probably the most important possession he owned. The boy had learned to give of his best.

This is an important aspect we can learn from the eighth commandment, that it is more than just not stealing, it is learning to give of our best to others who have need.

c. Robbing ourselves- But there is still a third lesson we can learn

from this commandment which is more subtle in nature; it is the aspect of stealing from ourselves. You might wonder how we could possibly steal from ourselves. We rob ourselves when we spend our money in ways that are unneeded or excessive. We might rob ourselves when we spend more than we can afford. Many years ago, before the invention of the credit card, people rarely bought anything they couldn’t pay cash for. Now, with the credit card, it is so easy to charge things, that they will purchase items that they cannot afford. Because of this, they end up paying on it (and the interest) for years and years.

EX. I remember that I didn’t get a credit card until I was 25 years old. I didn’t want to have the temptation to be able to get things I couldn’t afford. When I finally got the credit card, I made a promise to myself, and Go,d that I wouldn’t charge anything I couldn’t pay off within a few months. Tami and I still have this promise, and I believe we have done well to keep it. In this way, we keep ourselves from feeling stress from the financial pressure that comes from overspending.

When you buy things, do you buy because you need it, or just want it? Do you spend in ways that stretches you beyond your means, or do you seek to live within your means? When we spend beyond our means, we steal from ourselves.

Conclusion: The dictionary tells us that a “person of honor” is one of superior standing. To show honor is to have outward respect towards others.

God tells us that we show honor by respecting of father, and our mother; by treating them with a love and commitment that is deserving of the title of “parent” that has been given to them by God. HONOR is to accept the boundaries of personal property as well. It is to give back to God a good portion of what we have been given, it is to help others in need, and it is to live within our means.

God said it simply enough in commandments 5 and 8: “Honor your mother and your father;” and “You shall not steal.” Let us hear these commands today, and honor God by obeying them. Amen.