“Who Am I Meant to Be?”

From Let Your Life Speak, by Parker J. Palmer

Psalm 37:3-7

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Introduction: We all know that at the beginning of every year it is natural to think about our lives, think about what we might want to accomplish, and set some new (or old) goals. In the midst of this process it is also good to reflect on our lives and who God has meant us to be.

And yet, having said this, I think I also need to say that even more than whom we were meant to be, is who we are becoming. I believe where we get caught up in setting goals and in reflecting on our lives, is the END. We are so concerned with getting to the end that we miss out on what happens along the way. We are so concerned with finishing that we get tripped up and stumble along because we forgot to look where we are going!

We need to remember that even the disappointments and failures along the way will help us to become who God wants us to be, if we let God teach us through all aspects of life.

I. What Am I Meant to Do? (Psalm 37:4; Ephesians 2:10)

a. What I have done- There is a short writing by William Stafford,

called “Ask Me,” and it says this: “Some time when the river is ice ask me

mistakes I have made. Ask me whether what I have done is my life.

Others have come in their slow way into my thought, and some

have tried to help or to hurt: ask me what difference their

strongest love or hate has made.

I will listen to what you say. You and I can turn and look

at the silent river and wait. We know the current is there, hidden;

and there are comings and goings from miles away that hold

the stillness exactly before us. What the river says, that is what I say.”

Probably the line that stands out the most to me is: ‘Ask me whether what I have done is my life.’ Some might say, of course what I have done is my life, why would you even ask that question? And yet, if you really think about what this is saying, it is trying to help us realize that not all that we do is who we are meant to be. We have made choices that have led us down wrong paths. We have made statements that have accidentally hurt others. Not all that we have done is our life, because our life is not done; and hopefully we are not done becoming who we are meant to be.

Along with this, all too often in our world what we do as a vocation is who we are seen to be. There was a time when women were mostly housewives, stay home mothers, and that was who they were. Men worked and were seen as steel workers, or teachers, or executives. Nowadays men and women alike work out in the world, and are connected with what they do. I want to propose that our identities are too easily tied in with the vocation we hold, and that this is not how it should be.

This is true regardless of whether you like your job, your vocation, or not. This is true because there are more purposeful determining factors than just our work.

b. The heart of my identity- To find the heart of our identity we need

to follow the advice of the psalmist, who says in Psalm 37:4, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I have mentioned before that we can get lost in our sin, and our sinful desires will lead us astray; they are not our true desires. The only way to set ourselves on the right path, the right journey, is to delight in the Lord. In the Lord we will find the highest truths and values of life; the highest truths and values of our lives.

The key is really listening to what your life tells you what to do with you. That might sound funny, because how can your life talk to you? What this really means is that God has designed you to be who you are. As Ephesians 2:10 tells us: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God has created us for a purpose and with work to do. Innately our body and mind know it. We just have to seek God so that we can discover it. We find it out when we delight ourselves in God, then in that relationship we begin to understand the ‘desires of our hearts’ and we can then begin to live them out!

The problem is that we don’t know how to listen to God or to ourself. We become like a willful teenager thinking that we know what is best; what is right. God has placed truths and values within us, and all the more teaches them to us through His word. As we understand these truths and values, and then put them into practice in our lives (this is another way we delight in the Lord), then we will discover the heart of our identity. Our limits also teach us about who we are. Instead of being upset that we don’t have a certain gift or talent, let that limit guide you into what you CAN do and who you CAN become. The truth is, you really won’t discover the truth about yourself without your successes, AND your mistakes. When we put this all together we will be led to our true self.

II. The True Self- (John 10:3-4; Psalm 37:5)

a. Vocation- So let me take a moment to focus on vocation, because

our vocation really does help shape who we are, and who we are becoming; not completely, but in an important way. May Sarton, in regards to the quest for vocation says it nicely: “Now I become myself. It’s taken time, many

years and places. I have been dissolved and shaken, worn

other people’s faces…” (“Now I Become Myself,” p. 156).

What a long time it can take to become the person we were meant to be. In fact, it is a process that takes a lifetime. In our lifetime we will find ourselves in many places, shaken, worn, wearing masks, then unveiling ourselves. In all this we seek to find the true self.

The whole “call” of vocation comes from an external voice; from God’s voice. Because of this, we struggle to understand our vocation until we learn how to listen to God’s voice. As Jesus said in John 10:3-4 referring to Himself as the shepherd who watches the gate: “The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴ When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.” Just as sheep learn the voice of their master, so we must learn how to distinguish God’s voice in our lives so that we can find our calling.

In this respect, we come to understand “vocation” not so much as a goal to be achieved, but as a gift to be received. Instead of thinking that our calling comes from a voice “out there,” rather, it comes from the voice from within, since when we accept Christ as our Savior and Lord, God’s Spirit comes to live within us! We can then sense God’s calling to us from within, becoming who we were born to be.

As Rabbi Zusya once said: “In the coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me: ‘Why were you not Zusya.’” In other words, I am not meant to be Moses, or Abraham, or David, or any other Bible character, but rather I am meant to be Chris; the Chris God created me to be.

b. Your own gifted form- A sculptor was once asked how he chose to

make the sculpture he made. He responded saying that the object already existed inside the mold, he just had to discover it. We are not born as raw material to be shaped, as much as we are born with our own gifted form ready to be discovered!

Ex. Have you ever noticed that from early on in life children have likes and dislikes that are unique to them? They have a definite personality that expresses itself quite young. They start to develop talent in certain areas from a young age. I remember how Tyler liked to draw (and was good at it) from a very young age. Tiffany has always been the one who has great quotes. They are unique and have their own gifts and talents already there within them. As parents, Tami and I need to help shape this gifted form that exists.

We arrive in this world with birthright gifts, but too often make decisions that lead us to abandon them, or betray our true self to gain the approval of others. We seek to be someone we are not meant to be because of peer pressure or influences from our world. We travel in the wrong direction to find success. All the while walking farther away from our true self.

Psalm 37:5 seeks to bring us back by telling us: “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” Illus. I remember that as an early teenager, there was a gift in me that allowed me to “guide” others in their lives and through their problems. I would have friends consistently talking to me about what was going on in their lives….. Because I loved music I thought I was meant to be a music teacher, but ultimately, and thankfully, I listened to the Lord and sought to go into ministry instead!

It’s really the difference between asking: What ought I to do with my life? to asking: “What is my true self, and how does this fit with who God created me to be and do?” There is the general answer, “Love God with your whole self and love your neighbor as yourself.” But there is also the more specific unique answer for me, and for you.

III. The Human Possibility- (Psalm 37:7; Matthew 6:5)

a. The possibilities- The possibilities are there, they just need to be

discovered. It can’t be rushed. Psalm 37:7 gives us good advice: “Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way..” The problem with discovering who you are meant to be is that you probably want the answer yesterday. Instead of worrying about knowing the full picture, you might want to just enjoy who you are today, and be still before the Lord as you wait for Him to spell it out for you a day at a time.

We tend to look at others and think that they have it all together, and want what they have; what we think we don’t have. The truth is, we have more than we realize, and the possibility to become more; to become totally what God has in mind. But we usually have difficulty seeing our possibilities and living out our calling because we think that we do not have the time to “wait” on the Lord. So we rush ahead, and lose sight of where we are supposed to be heading; what we are supposed to be doing.

There is a Quaker concept call “way will open.” In faith we wait for the “way” to open to us. The challenge for the average person, is even if they seek for the “way” to open, they usually don’t have the patience to wait for the way to open. When “way” doesn’t open immediately, they get frustrated, or bored, or angry, or confrontive, because they want THE WAY TO OPEN!

In trying to find the “way” we need to be aware that many “ways” have closed behind us leading us to this next spot. So in reality, we are making our way toward the right way if we let it come to us and don’t force it. As I stated before, our limits also help to determine whether we are going the right way, or not.

For ex. When I was in college I began as a computer programming major. I did this not because I excelled at computers, but rather I thought that was a way to success and money. It didn’t take long to realize that I was limited in this area. So, I then chose music, and while I do have talent in music, in the end I was not led to be a teacher. Ultimately, I chose to go to seminary and the doors opened one after another for ministry positions!

b. Learning our limits- Each of us arrives in this world with a nature,

which means both limits and potentials. We can learn much about our nature by running into our limits as by experiencing our potentials. If we are not willing to learn from our limits, our limits will teach us anyway from embarrassment and/or by failure. In this way, our limits get our attention and teach us a lesson we need to learn.

Where we can really learn in this time is through thoughtful discernment. Whenever we are faced with our limit, or we experience some failure or setback, we need to go back and “be still before the Lord,” and seek the Lord for what He has us to learn. What lesson can be learned from this experience, and how does it teach us who we were meant to be?

Despite the “American Dream” philosophy, we cannot be or do WHATEVER we desire. There are some things we should not be because it is not who we created to be. To try and live out what we think is our American dream is in reality like forcing a square peg into a round hole. It is not meant to be a fit. When seeking a calling on your life, the best question you can ask is: “What would you like most about being in the calling? After we ponder that question, if your answer is something that sound selfish, or materialistic, or leans toward a power trip to feed your ego, then you definitely know it is not your calling, but comes from a different desire. EVEN IF YOUR PURSUIT IS NOBLE, but not in line with whom you were meant to be, you should not pursue that avenue!

Jesus said, in Matthew 6:5- “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.” Even though prayer is a worthwhile and spiritually minded venture, it should be done to bring glory to God, not to ourselves. Likewise, we are to live out our lives doing what we are called to do for God’s glory, not our own!

Conclusion: Burnout is a big issue in our society. The truth is, burnout usually comes from someone who is trying to give what they do not possess. This can come from our being in a place or position that we are not called to, or from being spiritually empty when you try and give.

Since we are made in God’s image, we could all, in a sense answer as God did in telling Moses His name: “I Am who I Am.” To fully dwell with God means to be faithful to our nature. We can only understand this nature when we take the time to rest in God and listen to God’s voice and guidance. When we try and be something that we are not, we are really crossing God’s intention and plan for us. While we usually are not willful in this choice, all the same we go against God’s will!

The key is to live in a creative tension between our limits and our potentials. When we seek God in this, learning from the closed “way” and looking for what will open, we can indeed be in the process of becoming who we were meant to be. Amen.