Monday, January 09, 2012

"Comforted in Rejection"
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Isaiah 53:1-12

Introduction: Today is our second week of a 4-week series we are doing on the Holy Spirit as our comforter. Last week we talked about how the Holy Spirit comforts us in many ways: He prays for us; He takes a hold of our problems and removes them; He counsels us when we are needing guidance; He brings guilty feelings upon us so that we realize we are doing wrong; and on and on it goes.

The Holy Spirit does this because He wants to make sure that we walk according to the will of God. The Holy Spirit wants us to live the best and most productive life we can live. The Holy Spirit wants to remind us that Jesus spoke the truth when He told us that He would not leave us nor forsake us. The Holy Spirit is God’s presence in our lives!

Over the next 3 weeks we are going to look at the five main hurts that people experience, and how the Holy Spirit is there to comfort us in the midst of these hurts. Today we will look at rejection and false accusation.

I. Rejection- (Isaiah 53:1-12; John 14:26-27)

Have you ever been rejected? I ask this question, and then think it is actually a foolish question, because I would be surprised if there is anyone in this room who hasn’t been rejected in some way, at some time in their life!

a. As a child- Probably the most common time for someone to be

rejected, is in their childhood. Children can be extremely cruel to other children. They use put downs to reject others children: such as telling them that they are fat, or ugly, or uncoordinated. They can use their name against them, often times rhyming the name with something hurtful: for example, they might call someone fat Pat. They can even reject others by making groups or clubs that exclude them.

However, rejection doesn’t just come from other children. Rejection can be experienced from a child’s parents. One of the greatest ways a parent is to be there for his or her child is to love them and help them feel accepted. A parent’s role is to train a child to become the wonderful person that God created that child to be. A child looks up to his parents and needs to be accepted by them. Whether it is by harsh words, or not giving approval to the child, or even by abandoning the child through drugs or divorce, the child can feel rejected.

Since childhood is that period where a child is learning how to love and give and trying to understand what it means to relate to others, rejection can cause great pain in the child’s life. Rejection is quite painful, because we have been created to be in relationship with others, and in this rejection the relationships are withheld. This, we will see, can affect our lives as we move into adulthood!

b. In your family or career- But even as adults rejection is experienced.

One of the hardest things for people to do,is to date. In dating you are putting yourself out there for the other person. You are giving your heart to someone else, and if they decide they no longer want to date you, then rejection is felt. You might wonder if you are worthy of being loved. You might question what is wrong with you because you were not fully received by that other person. Even though in dating there will be many break-ups before you find the person you will marry, these break-ups still hurt a great deal.

Someone once said: “I would rather love and be rejected, than to never have loved at all.” I would agree with this statement, but it doesn’t take away from the hurt of rejection. It doesn’t minimize the pain that is felt when a relationship doesn’t work out.

Or, getting back to the parent/child relationship, you can be rejected by your parents even when you are an adult. Maybe they don’t agree with whom you marry, or the career you choose. Maybe you feel judged or condemned by your parents. Again, this relationship that is suppose to be so vital in our lives has brought rejection to us, and it is painful.

A third way that rejection happens is in our career. I’m not sure what the statistic is, but I have heard that many college graduates end up getting a job that is outside of their major. Meaning, that they went to college to become an engineer, or a musician, or a lawyer, but they end up in a different career. This can feel like rejection because you chose the career that matched what you like to do, and end up doing something different.

Even more, is the fact that many college graduates find it hard to get a job. They work hard at completing their major and getting a degree, but then they are rejected by one company after another! They take the time to fill out the job application and then go for the interview. They get themselves mentally and emotionally ready for the job, only to be told ‘no thank you!’

The truth is, whenever we are rejected, it is as if every rejection we have ever experienced is remembered. The current rejection triggers the memories within us, and we play back all the feelings of rejection we felt in earlier years.

EX. Folding a towel- When Tami and I were first married it didn’t take long to realize that I like things a certain way, and so does Tami. One way I discovered this was after I had washed my hands, dried them on the towel, folded the towel, and then hung it up. Without even thinking, while we were still talking, Tami walked over to the towel, and refolded the towel! I actually got angry over this thinking that she thought I didn’t know how to fold a towel. The truth was, somehow I felt some rejection from this. As I analyzed it, I realized that it brought back feelings of when my dad would ask me to do something, but I didn’t do it the way he wanted, and he would come along behind me and redo it! These feelings of rejection resurfaced.

What are we to do with this hurt?

c. Jesus understands our pain- We need to understand that Jesus is

there for us; Jesus understands our pain. Jesus has experienced rejection Himself. Listen again to Isaiah 53:3-5, “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. 4 Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Jesus was despised and rejected. Jesus had come to bring the love of God and presence of God into this world, and instead of receiving Him, they crucified Him! Through this crucifixion, Jesus took our pain, bore our suffering, and healed us from our hurts. Jesus did this so that our self-esteem, which is lowered by the rejection, would be lifted up in the fact that Jesus has such high esteem for us! Jesus also did this so that we can know that Jesus understands what we are feeling, and in understanding these feelings, can bring healing to our lives!

This is one of the main reasons that we have been given the Holy Spirit. Jesus gave us the Spirit so that we would not be left alone. As Jesus told us in John 14:26-27, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” The peace comes from the Holy Spirit being there for us in our times of trouble and pain. God’s Spirit can give us peace in the midst of the hurt we feel from rejection. So draw near to God. Receive the Holy Spirit’s help.

II. False Accusation- (Matthew 5:11-12; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

a. The accusation- From time to time in our lives we will face having a

false accusation made against us. This is a statement about us or against us, which is not true. However, when the statement goes out, and people hear it, they don’t know it isn’t true, and so it can affect what others think of us! This is where the hurt comes in.

EX. The Party for my Junior Higher- A number of years ago I was the Junior High Director at a church in Alta Loma, California. I had gotten close with this one particular family whose son was in my junior high school group. They regularly invited me over for dinner or even to hang out. Their son’s birthday was coming up, and so I planned with the parents, and the junior higher’s sister to have a party at my house. On the day of the party I picked up the sister (who was 16 years old at the time) about an hour before the party was to happen, and was going to take her to my house to decorate. On the way to my house I noticed that the church high school group was having a car wash, so to support the youth I stopped and had them wash my car. I then proceeded to my house, where we decorated, and then had the party. Everything went great.

Except one thing. The next day I heard that someone had started a rumor that they saw me kiss this girl!! This was false, of course, but the rumor could cause great problems for me. The one good thing is that it did not come from the girl, but from someone from the church. The girl knew it wasn’t true, and her parents knew it wasn’t true. So I got on the phone and called many people telling them the truth, and asking them to pass the word that this rumor was false. Fortunately, the rumor was squashed pretty quickly. Later I confronted the person who started this rumor and told them I didn’t appreciate what they had done!

When an accusation is made against you, especially one that isn’t true, it is hurtful. I was hurt that someone would think I would do something like that. I was hurt by what this rumor could do to my reputation and my job. It is not always easy to get others to believe that a false accusation is not true. It takes a lot of time and energy to deal with this false accusation.

b. The response- People have many ways in which they respond to false

accusations. These responses show the pain that false accusations can bring to people.

One way that people respond is to turn to alcohol or drugs. They want to dull the pain that they feel inside. Maybe they aren’t in a place to fight the accusation. Maybe they have tried to fight it, to tell the truth, and people didn’t believe them. So they take the easy way out and drown their pain in alcohol or drugs. But it doesn’t work, because when they wake up the next day, the pain is still there, and the false accusation still exists.

Another way that people respond, is through isolation. Because of the embarrassment they feel from what has been said, they might isolate themselves. They decide to not go out in public. They get lost in reading books, or watching television. The problem with this, is the longer they isolate themselves, the harder it is to face people. The accusation still exists. Isolation is not what God wants from us. God does not want us to close ourselves off from the world. God also doesn’t want us to avoid our problems.

The best way to deal with it, is to respond to it. The way I tried to respond to it was to go first to the people who knew me and who knew my character. These people then became ally’s for me. In this way I wasn’t fighting the accusation alone, but had the help of trusted friends.

c. Let the Holy Spirit heal you- In the end, there will be some pain

experienced. If you are able to bring the truth to light about the false accusation, there is still the hurt of the accusation being made in the first place. There is the pain of having others believe what is said. There is the negative affect on your reputation, because you can never really undo what some people will think.

If you aren’t able to get others to believe the truth, then there is the pain of having to deal with the outcome of this false accusation. Again, there is the pain of what others now think of you. There is the fallout of how this negative accusation affects what you are able to do. It might limit where you can work or who your friends will be.

Either way, healing is needed. The best place for healing is the Holy Spirit. As we talked about last week, one of the great roles of the Holy Spirit is to be a comforter to us. The Comforter can come alongside us and soothe our hurt. The Comforter can come alongside and give us strength. The Comforter can minister to the deep parts of our being, and give us peace, even in the midst of the uncertainty and turmoil.

The Holy Spirit, the Comforter can make things right again. The Holy Spirit, being the Spirit of God, can exercise power beyond our capabilities. The Holy Spirit can lead you to a new job, or a new relationship. The Holy Spirit can help you to restore your name. The Holy Spirit can give you the confidence you need to believe in yourself again. The Holy Spirit can lead you to others who will believe in you, and help you, and love you through the pain!

As Matthew 5:11-12 says, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

The Holy Spirit can use this experience in our lives so that ultimately we can have a purpose for helping others. We are told in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble, with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” We are comforted in this experience, and by our being comforted, we can comfort others who will go through similar experiences!

Conclusion: I don’t know what kind of rejection you have experienced in your life, but I do know that we all have experienced rejection. Some of the hurt from those rejections is probably lying dormant in your life. You haven’t allowed yourself to deal with it and overcome the pain and hurt. I encourage you to give it over to the Holy Spirit, and allow the comfort of the Spirit to come into your life and bless you.

I don’t know if you have had false accusations made against you. The odds are that in some way, at some time there have been. Again, these accusations cause hurt and pain. More often than not the pain has been masked over and not dealt with. Give it away to God! Let God give you peace where there is turmoil. Love where there is emptiness. Strength where there is weakness.

Let God comfort you through your experiences of rejection and false accusations. Be blessed because you hold fast to the Lord, this day and every day. Amen.

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